SO, we’re about 6 months in from graduation now and I don’t know about you but I am loving my work perks, stable contact and constant flow of cash.
I am, of course, only joking.
The only perks at I am currently receiving is the free water from the coffee machine, which incidentally tastes and smells like very weak yet very cold espresso. YUM. Oh, and lets not forget the distinct lack of sleep and illegal hours. No really, the perk of this is that…. Wait…. Almost had it…OK we’ll come back to that.
But seriously, Working nights and days mixed into to one hazy over-taxed blur does have its brilliant moments.
My night shift now is an almost comforting place where the people are great and the over-priced vending machine is always fully stocked. The night team find themselves slipping further and further into a sugar-filled bubble where cackling with laughter and listening to Leona Lewis obnoxiously loud suddenly seems the norm. This form of hysteria is starting to set in earlier and earlier, depending on how well the system is working.
One example, I had switched computers four times and none of the articles I needed had appeared at all. Hysteria crept in at 9 o’clock. All thanks to the discovery of the Google 'keyword' tool. Yes, you guessed it, we were crying with laughter at the word bum. Along with Google’s suggestions and how many people had searched for those. Some had included, bum fight, winky bum, bum gallery, bum race, bum arcades and who could forget, bum bum bum bum bum. And that was just for Britain.
Now, let me take a moment briefly to explain what this job actually involves (without falling into a geek-filled black hole).
We upload the paper the night before so all its glorious content is there on the website for the glorious public to see and then complain about. We have to change headlines to make them Internet friendly and find and crop pictures that will not make us liable for some sort of court case. At midnight, all our hard work goes live for everyone to see. It’s a proud moment, like giving birth to a giant 2-D, box-shaped baby tattooed with pictures of Nick Griffin and Gordon Brown.
Tune in for more installations, including the Great Tea Fight and The Wonderland of Taxi Drivers.